Showing posts from March, 2011

Something to think about while we are on the subject:

Why is it important for a so called healthy racial identity to identify with your "black" heritage rather than with the other parts of your genetic cocktail, i.e. asian, chilean, german, whatever?
Isn't it strange that most people would consider a german/african child with light brown skin calling herself white a case for a therapist,whereas we would consider it healthy if she would call herself black?

Hope to get answers from you, Precious, Cynde, anyone?

A Black Man in The White House - Something the world can be proud of?

I am amazed at all the different reactions I got  here on my blog, in personal emails or speaking to people about my feelings towards race labellling.

Thank you all for participating and offering opinions! At the same time I am a little frustrated with how my - adimittedly slightly long winded - point of view gets reduced to a reluctance  to call my children black because I have an issue with their race or skin color (???). I accept that most people still think in traditional categories of black and white and I do not automatically see it as an insult to my girls if someone refers to them as black - depending of course on the context.

But why is it so difficult to accept for some of you that I simply want to move forward and away from labels that have historically been used to suppress and humiliate people (or set "white" people apart as superior) and into a future where we see race and color as something as individual and natural as eye color or hair color. Something you …

What's wrong with calling my children black?

Precious comments on my post about "the race issue"  that she does not understand the reluctance to "describe ourselves as black or white" as she sees it simply as a fact of life, pretty much like describing a person as a man or a woman. She also adds that many people who have written to her - adopted by families with a different ethnic background - feel that it is mainly the "white" community who shows a reluctance to call their "black" kids black and instead emphasises that color does not matter whereas they feel it does.  (If there were more cases of cross cultural adoption where the parents are "black" and the children "white" we might have a different perspective altogether but as it is we do not have the privilege of another side here).

I have been thinking about this over the past week and as much as I see her point and want to come around to it for the sake of my children ( if this is what it's going to come down …

Two minute friends and The Party Of My Life

It's happened - I recently turned the corner into senior citizenship - having dreaded the event for the past 50 years or so.  And guess what? It was absolutely spectacular.  It felt like something suddenly popped open (apart from the wedding dress I tried to fit into - and  had to change for a newly acquired black stretchy number...) and I suddenly released my inner party queen.

But hang on a minute - this does not make any sense:   We are talking about a total birthday-phobic here. I don't do parties. Ever. In fact I hate them.  The term wallflower does not even begin to describe my overall approach to social gatherings. It's more wall-thistle with super-size thorns.

Whatever happened to my fight-or-flight-approach to birthdays, which over the past 15 years were either spent in blissful solitude (OK with hubby - but same difference :-))  somewhere on a beach without cell phone reception or I invited the mother hen of all crisis around for the occasion and spent it alone…

Please tick the correct box......

A couple of days ago  whilst filling out yet another form - this one for the Waldorf School in Kenilworth - as I am still hysterically ambivalent as to which education will utlitmately guarantee my two princesses life long happiness, self confidence and worldly success - I came across a curious dilemma:

Right after the box about my financial situation, they asked about the race of the applicant - it says and I quote here:

This information is required by the Department of Education in order to determine the extent to which equity and access are being addressed. It should be the parents and/or family’s own perception of their race and not the racial classification used in the past

 ...followed by a a variety of options to choose from : african/black (this one already gets my hackles up) colored (still getting worse) indian (pretending this is about nationality now, are we?) asian (or even continents??) white (yeah that's me: white with rage/disbelief/anger/) other (hoooorray, we are…

what waits around the corner.....

our fashion queens fotographed by my dearest and nearest friend brooke or

If you ask me.....comments on Precious and Cynde's views

Well... admittedly nobody has asked me .... as I am not a celebrity (not yet anyway....). Just little old me with an Opinion (as always capital O).

And some MAJOR questions:

WHY do there only seem to be two options in bringing up a child who is different from me:

Either ignore, even deny the differences (i.e. skin color) and make  a total mess of the parenting job -


Emphasise it into enormous importance and ultimately  cave in to stereotypes and a terminology that is not even close to their reality and only serves to prolong the age old history of separation and fear of "the other". My kids are not black - neither by skin color (I still have to see a black or a white person walking this earth - OK, let's exclude the Powder guy here ) nor by race (they are a happy mix of many a race and culture).

And pleeeeese people believe me: I don't say this because I think it's a bad thing to be black, some of my finest clothes and handbags are black - or white for that …