Another one for the list of stupid questions: How can anybody give their child away?

This is just another one of those idiotic questions we get asked by random people in shopping centres or restaurants - people of -one would  assume - at least average intelligence, education and social competence. Of course as with so many other comments we seem to provoke, it is not really meant as a question at all but rather as a call of judgement.

What they really want to say is: I am so much better as a human being than the birth parents of this child. They manage to pass it off as an achievement that they never found themselves in a position sad or desperate enough where they had to sacrifice their own needs or desires for the well being of another person...

Because this is exactly what most mothers do who make the difficult decision that their children are better off with new parents who will not only love them but also be able to care for them in a way that every child deserves. As was the case with Kala's birth mother Joanie:

Of course she would have preferred to be Kala's life mother and raise her in a happy home. She even tried for a couple of months. But as she realised she could not be the family Kala deserved, she made the brave and selfless decision for her to be raised by us. She chose us, she told me, because she could see that Alan was a great father and having to grow up without a father, she wanted that more than anything for Kala. By loving our beautiful daughter I thank her everyday from the bottom of my heart for the trust that she put in us.

Apart from the fact that there are many reasons why children can not and should not be raised by their birth parents, there is also the sad possibility that they are orphaned and nobody but the universe made that choice for them.  How come that people who are privileged enough to have the means and facilities to care for a child and most likely the choice whether or not they even want a child feel they have not only the right to question but also the moral high ground to pass judgement on another human being?  

As with so many situations where people react out of ignorance and a fear of the unknown my better side knows I should try to be understanding and kind towards the person who asks this question of me. And I promise I will  - try harder.

But sometimes that better version of me is temporarily out of order and my mean little self kicks in and answers: Ho can anybody over 5 ask a stupid question like that.


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