October Child Magazine published this one

There is one thing that bothers me whenever I read anything about adoption, and that is that people don’t seem to consider the possibility that adopting a child can be a deliberate choice and not the result of many years of failed attempts to conceive “your own” biological child. There seems to be a common perception that adoption is only a second choice, reserved for when all else fails, and that loving a biological child is more natural and comes more easily than loving an adopted child.

This is absolutely not the case. The feelings we have for our children are only determined by our capacity to love and not by their genetic backgrounds. If you have the ability to love, you will love your child – whichever way he or she comes to you.

I chose to adopt my children because it made sense to me from an early age (I was 12 when I first decided I was going to adopt). I wanted to be a mother to children who needed mothering, rather than bringing more children into the world. At the time this seemed like a teenager’s make-the-world-a-better-place idealism, something I would grow out of. I did abandon the idea in my twenties and thirties, but then I moved to South Africa, and suddenly many signs were pointing me towards adopting again.

Getting my children was such a wonderful and natural process and I am forever grateful to this country, to all the people who helped us bring our family together and most of all to my daughters’ beautiful birth mothers, who loved their children enough to make this choice for them. In my opinion it is vital, especially when you consider how children are abandoned to beg on street corners while rich people are spending a fortune on in-vitro procedures or other means in order to conceive.

Now more so than ever we need to wake up to the fact that there is a need for a new way of life, for a new understanding of family. To adopt children should be as natural as giving birth to them and I hope that my children will grow up understanding this. They must always know that having them the way we did was not a solution to a problem but a choice we made (as did they – I believe they also chose us).

There are many more things that I could go on about, as this has been a subject close to my heart for as long as I have had the privilege of being a mother. For example, if every couple that had a biological child would adopt a child in need of a family, the world would be a better place for children.


Charisse said…
I agree with you 100% This was and is my feeling and my motivation. Of course once we are mothers the ideology is lost in the love ;)

Popular posts from this blog

Using my white privilege

Dear Black People